If there is one thing married life has taught me, and taught me well, is that wives don’t really care about their husband’s opinion when it comes to how to bring up “their” children.
They might ask for it, frequently, they just aren't actually interested in it.
They only ask because they want to amuse themselves by hearing an idiot telling them the wrong opinion.
This is how they think.
But we get them back.
Fret not; the last laugh is most certainly ours.
The other day, before leaving the house for work, I remembered my youngest son mentioning that his bedside lamp’s bulb had blown.
It was the work of a second to replace it.
I went to work my late shift, knowing I would not be home until well after the kids were in bed.
Later in the day, my lovely wife left about a dozen plates spinning at her work in order to rush home and collect Jamie from his after-school club. Swiftly joined by our eldest boy, she quickly knocked up an evening meal out of whatever she could find while helping with homework. Nobody knows exactly how my wife throws meals together as fast as she does.
It’s an enigma.
The fridge, the cupboards, the house – all completely bereft of food and the oven cold.
Twenty seconds later there’s a table full of piping hot dinner. Not that the boys are ever impressed. They don’t appreciate an artist at work. All they know is that they haven’t got any chips on their plates.
Within the same few seconds it took to feed the animals, she broke up three fights.
With the boys fed, separated and up to date on their school-work, she then ferried Daniel, my Teen, to his football practice.
Jamie was looked after, cuddled and loved.
And then he went up to bed.
Only to come down two minutes later with an absolute look of joy on his face…
“OH – I LOVE DAD!” he sighed with genuine emotion – “He’s fixed my light”
With that, he spun around and took himself off to bed with the contented swoop of a child who has figured out who his hero is.
And I can picture the look on Jo’s face.
Undoubtedly the woman, who has, on a daily basis, given her everything to this boy and made so many great decisions that have kept him healthy, educated, and happy. Put her career on hold. Put her body through hell. Clothed, watered, fed and loved.
The woman without whom both of my sons would not even be a fraction of the amazing human beings that they are.
I don’t doubt that she looked over at the empty space on the sofa where my backside usually sits, shook her head in despair and correctly imagined my smug hand forming an L for Loser…
I’d also have been grinning.