A quick note about kittens

Domino

Jenga

Do you remember these bad boys?

Domino and Jenga entered my life last summer as tiny bundles of cute fir and whirlwind silliness. I was quick to post up some pictures and couldn’t wait to fill my blog with tales of their madcap madcappery.

And they are cute.

Very.

But the problem is that I am the world’s worst wildlife photographer. I’m never ever ready. You have to live with a camera in your hands to get decent photos of kittens and I never remember where I put it quickly enough. By the time I’ve recognised the blogging potential of a cute cat moment, it’s gone.

Domino and Jenga now - all grown up

I’m too busy laughing at them to photograph them. Maybe I’m too busy living in the real world to consider myself a proper blogger.

Now I could ignore that and write about them anyway. Spend hours writing about them tearing about the house or the way that Domino has started bringing in presents for us. Well I say presents…

Look at the tits out there....

Last week he brought us a worm. A bloody worm! How useless is that? I told him to take it outside and use it to catch me a proper gift but he just sat there pointing at it hopefully. In the end I relented and gave him a stroke while Jamie took the worm outside.

At no point did it occur to me to fetch a camera.

And all that would be fine but a cat story with no pictures? Is that the point where you reach for the PVC and climb into the cupboard in bored desperation? Nobody wants to hear about a cat – they want to see it.

Okay but pull my nighty back down when you've finished

People who come into work and bang on about their pets do my nut in. I’ve no interest in hearing stories of how your animal uses its litter tray, thank you. And if hearing someone talk about their cat is bad enough, imagine reading about it when they haven’t gone to the effort of showing you a picture? Cat stories need a photograph – and that’s that. At work you can show me one photograph a week, maximum, before I will attempt to hook my own eyes out with a finger. Keep the description of what the animal was doing at the time down to twenty seconds and we can stay friends.

I love my cats – and they appear to love each other (I think I have gay cats) but I’m thinking one post a year is enough – what do you think? By the way, should you watch this video - try and imagine Serge Gainsburg and Jane Birkin moaning Je T'aime in the background because I couldn't figure out how to add it.