So I had an idea.
I have a feeling it is probably a bit brilliant.
I may be wrong.
It stemmed from when my wife and I were out on a ‘date’ last week; I had to stop myself from using Facebook while sat supposedly being romantic (as discussed already). I’d tried to suggest to Jo that we could spend the whole evening in silence, only ever conversing via Facebook but she hadn’t seemed too keen. Instead, she insisted on spending the evening banging on about whatever it is women bang on about when you are trying to read a menu, or evaluating the quality of other diner’s plates to see if what they have is worth ordering.
That night, as I patiently waited for sleep to catch up with me I let my mind wander off down its inevitably irreverent paths unchained.
Where it took me was Facebook Dining.
Facebook Dining is (or should be) the future of the social network’s brand. I’ve already emailed Zuckerberg and anxiously await his cash to arrive in my inbox.
I figure that everyone (who matters) uses Facebook these days. Whole social groups depend on it. People chat, joke and bumble their way through whole conversations on it even though they have absolutely nothing else in common with the people on the other side of the Internet. In short, people with no ability to talk to each other in real life can tap out words for hours on their mobile’s FB app.
Here’s where my idea comes in.
What does every town everywhere have? Restaurants, right? Usually the same damned ones. Chains are everywhere. Once inside there is nothing to set them apart. What do real life friends love doing when they meet up? That’s right, they go to restaurants.
So what do virtual friends do? Nothing. They stay in because there is nothing worse than going to a restaurant alone.
Get your virtual friends together via Facebook invitations. Book single tables at the same chain (let’s assume Nandos for now) at the same time, accounting for time zones.
Then you all go to your respective Nandos brandishing your mobiles, ipads or laptops. You are effectively sharing a meal at the same restaurant together like real people do. You can order what you like as there will be no quibbles with the bill over who had the extra coleslaw. You sit, eat and drink in as big a group as you can organise without having to book a huge table. All the conversation flows through comments within the event you have set up. You can upload photos, share your opinions and have a great night. All without actually having to hang out with the people who never really liked at school anyway.
You are no longer eating out alone – you have friends! In fact that foursome in the corner looking at you dismissively can sod off, they have no idea that you are actually out with 31 friends – they should be in awe of your social standing, not pitying it!
I’m well up for experimenting with this – all I need now are some other idiots stupid enough to try it with me.
Facebook Dining – the future of the socially inept.