Wednesday, October 5, 2011

To my grandparents

I don’t know how old I was.

I wasn’t old enough. 

He had a Stroke.

The daftest, warmest man I knew.

My Granddad.

The Stroke couldn’t kill him straight away, so it broke him instead. A man who had laboured his whole life, reduced to dribbling in a Nursing Home’s chair. 

And where was I?

When he needed to cash in the chips of the unconditional love and support he had always given me, where was I?

Nowhere.

I hadn’t coped. I couldn’t cope.

I distanced myself from him and all my grandparents. Discovering their mortality shocked me into hiding. I couldn’t risk feeling that pain again.

Years passed, and this world lost the four best people who ever walked upon it, but I barely noticed.

Even though I got older, I couldn’t let them back inside until it was far too late.

And now I miss him, I miss them all.

This is the pain that I cannot hide from.

Sorry Granddad. Sorry Grandpa. Sorry Nan. Sorry Granny B. 

I love you.


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The above is true, it wasn’t easy to write. Sometimes, I’ll try and push myself and dip into my emotions a little. I don’t do it often here at Glen’s Life, because I try to keep this place light and daft, but I do it elsewhere sometimes.

If you liked this, please could you go to http://wurdzl.com/a/69tA7Kk and either Facebook-Like, Google-Like, share, tweet or whatever you can be bothered to do? I think you have to login to do a W+, if you have a login or want to create one then a W+ would be lovely thanks.


I’m not sure what it says about me, that I’ll dip into my raw emotions just to try and win a Kindle – but there you are.

2 comments:

Basque-Land said...

You are right, it is very hard to deal with people we love who change so drastically with illnesses like stroke, aging etc. Very brave of you to expose your pain here even if it so you can win a kindle.....you are funny! When my grandpa was dying in the hospital, I was the class clown in order to change direction of all the serious emotions. Worked.

Glen said...

Thanks - anything but accept the truth.