I have a confession to make. The other day I laughed quite brazenly at someone’s misfortune on the underground.
Does that make me a bad man?
Let me explain and you can decide for yourself.
It was raining in London – hard. When I boarded the train at Paddington it had just recently gone underground and as I dashed onboard, the first thing I noticed was a seat.
Result! A seat is a rare treat and in fact it looked like two seats – space!
I headed speedily towards this ‘Golden Ticket’, this was my chance to sit.
These chances don’t come along that often.
I was just about to throw myself into my own legend when a sixth sense left me hovering in mid air.
It had all been too easy – no one had tried to block me or push by me. The seat should never have been there in the first place and yet the crowds of people standing there were happily letting me past to get to it? Something smelled wrong.
I looked closer and saw that the seats were soaking wet, at least they certainly looked wet – I wasn’t about to touch and check in case it wasn’t your actual rain water. At the same time I felt a small splash hit my head. Looking up I saw that there was a leak coming in and dripping onto the seats.
Good – so it was water and nothing nastier – but none the less, the seats were soaked and getting wetter by the moment.
I backed off. The moment of excitement had passed.
Had that been the end of the story I wouldn’t have to be ashamed of myself, but it isn’t the end.
A moment later a young kid (20 ish) pushed by. He had all the latest gear on. The latest hairstyle. The most expensive looking headphones were playing the most annoyingly loud music for everyone’s pleasure, it seemed. This guy thought himself to be very, very cool.
He smiled cockily as he spotted the seat.
Smiled smugly as he pushed me out of the way to get to it.
Smiled – awkwardly – as he settled into it.
He desperately wanted to pretend that his error hadn’t just happened. There was no way in a million years he would lose his cool. Had it been me I would have screamed like a little girl and jumped up. I would have turned and angrily cursed the seat, the train, the rain, God and everyone in the carriage for ganging up against me. But not cool guy.
Cool guy sat there with the stoniest poker face you have ever seen on his face. He absolutely did NOT have a wet arse, and no way on this planet were occasional drips of water landing on his head. He ignored it all but his eyes slightly faltered in their attempt to hide his true feelings.
And what did I do?
I laughed – loudly.
I know – sorry. I know I should be more compassionate. What is worse I fear my laugh might have then been responsible for the ripple of laughs that snaked their way through the carriage. That could have been me sitting there – it so nearly was.
Am I bad? Have you ever found yourself taking far too much pleasure from someone else’s discomfort than you know you really ought too?
Have you ever been that person sat on the wet seat hoping like hell that no one noticed? Let me know guys!
8 comments:
I so would have been laughing too, at least you weren't shoving people out of the way to get to the seat!
I would have laughed!!!! LOL! People that think they are sooooo cool just make me think... prat! Be a human being and jump up with a wet bum, swear and laugh at your mistake lol.
No you are not bad!
Yes, you're bad, bad boy, lol.
I think I might've tried to stop him from sitting there before he got wet but there is a certain snarky attitude that makes me say "so let it be on your head, then" But that doesn't make either of us bad. Does it?
Bad boys have far more fun you know Glen ;)
You're not bad - would have laughed too. I haven't sat on a wet seat but I did once sit on a piece of chewing gum that the bloke sitting opposite tried to warn me about - no way I was going to stop and listen to anyone until my bum was in that seat though. A tad embarrassing.
Hurray for schadenfraude! I personally love when I see someone walking the sidewalk like he/she's all that and then trips on uneven pavement. They try to keep their cool, but oh no...
But that leaves nowhere near the satisfaction of a soaking wet bum that lingers all day. As we Yankees like to say, what a DOUCHE.
This reminds, though, of a peculiar incident of karma that occurred in college...we lived in a suite with two bedrooms and four roommates total. Well, one morning getting ready for class, we heard Roommate #1 cry out - her leg had gone completely numb in her sleep (a weird, rare thing), so when she stepped on it to get out of bed, she fell. Roommate #2 just howled about that, and come the next morning, HER leg had gone numb, so SHE fell out of bed. At which I, as Roommate #3, absolutely cracked up. I had a few days of safety to lull me into confidence until, sure enough, one day I wake up, step out of bed, and plummet to the ground because my leg had numb for the first time in my life. Roommate #4 was the only one who never laughed...and never fell out of bed. Huh.
Groovy – true :-)
Soph – if you can’t swear with a wet arse – when can you?
CW – I know :-p
Tag – I think you are softer than I am
Lady C - they do :-)
Barbara – ah nightmare – yuk yuk yuk
FM – funny!! How bonkers is that? I have already written and scheduled an update on what Karma had to say about this incident – coming up on Sunday ….
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