Naughty Mr. Fox

Fox in need of McDonalds

In the city of London, just near Waterloo, there are sights you expect to see, such as people giving away free papers, people in suits with fat wallets and people in rags with no wallets.


These sights you get used to seeing, to the point of them becoming invisible.

Sometimes you awake to see something new.

Yesterday I saw a fox.

I tried to get a photo, but the selfish git refused to stand and pose so it isn’t very clear.

Not that you would want a good photo of him anyway as he was in a right state. His fur was mottled and ugly; his eyes were weathered and aged. Basically he was looking a bit rough.

I wondered what such an addled looking fox was doing walking about the London streets at this time of day.

And then it hit me.

Mr. Fox was doing the walk of shame.

It may feel like a century ago for me, but we have all done it at least once.

This fox had been doing the ‘Sheen’ the night before, and was now attempting to get home and showered in time for work.

“No photos” He shouted, as he desperately tried to get across the road. This lucky beast has just had the night of his life with one lucky foxy lady.

A lot of vodka was drunk.

Two packets of cigarettes were smoked.

Someone suggested Tequila.

Before he knew it, he was lying in someone’s bed with a worried smile on his face as he tried to remember if her name was Kylie, Karen, Kara or Susan. He’d just have to call her Darling and be done with it.

Sure he’d call.

Sure he’d find her on Facebook.

“No worries Darling, Tweet me your details, yeah”

In the morning he would have just had time to get ‘a quick one for the road’ before legging it out of the door, before she asked for his number again, he’d already forgotten what false number he had given her earlier.

Now Mr. Fox had to walk across town among the commuters, wearing his success like a badge of honour in case he bumped into Badger or the others, but with his head down low because somewhere among the throng of people, could be his boss.

His manager had last seen foxy earlier on the night before – chatting to the company’s accountant, who just happened to be his daughter…
When the Tequila fully works its way out of his system – he is going to realise who he tried to give false numbers to. Let’s hope he only did a ‘Sheen’, and not a ‘Schwarzenegger’.

No wonder the dirty animal was unhappy when I ‘papped’ him!