Man fixes things - with tape

With great age, comes great responsibility.


I have entered the age of ‘fixing things around the house’.

No longer can I get away with youthful wastefulness and carefree upgrading of household equipment.

Oh no.

On the plus side, now I get to use tape.

Tape is God’s way of rewarding married men for putting up with periods.

Not just any old sticky tape either. We are talking ‘electrical insulating tape’, and that is just for starters.


You know this guy is single right?  
http://www.crunchgear.com/2008/03/12/69-uses-for-duct-tape/


Once you have wrapped up some wiring in the sexiest tape on the planet, why not treat yourself to a bit of fettish gear for afters? You could use some vulcanising tape to protect your work from the elements (don’t bother asking or Googling it girls – I’ve got as much chance of remembering to ask my Mum about birthdays / holidays / illnesses or animals on the phone, without being prompted to do so by my wife using mime beside me, than you have of understanding vulcanising tape). I warn you not to try using that stuff too soon as well – it’s not for amateurs, you need to be pretty hard core and have safe words ready.

Don’t even mention masking tape to me, or HBM as us Navy folk will say, unless you want me to become a gibbering wreck of excitement.

This weekend – I did some fixing.

It involved a lot of tape.

First of all I fixed our wine cooler. I know – I’m quite posh.

The wine cooler was my one real extravagance when we did our kitchen three years ago. I’m not a wine drinker, and if I do drink wine I like it ice cold – so as to remove any wine taste from the glass. A wine cooler is therefore not much use to me. However, I saw one in someone else’s kitchen and fell in love with it. I had to have one, I had to have it switched on and I had to fill it with wine.

I love my wine cooler.

It finally packed up and died a couple of weeks ago after about 6 month’s ill health. I’d stripped it and cleaned the fans a few times and kept it alive as best I could, but finally at 21:30 hours on the 2nd March 2011, I pronounced the fans to be clinically dead, and the wine cooler was unplugged.



Just one of my many wives enjoying her luxuray wine lifestyle
http://www.luxuo.com/most-expensive/luxury-wine-coolers.html

 Jo started searching the Internet and started pointing at brand new coolers that could take its place for less than £200. A few years ago I’d have pronounced that a bargain. I’ve changed.

I took over the Internet search and located a transplant. I found donor fans at a computer spares place Oh the leads and the plugs weren’t the same, but the fans were the right size and type. The race was on – and for just under £10 delivered.

The fans came – I ran into the garage and excitedly found my tape, and even more excitedly – my brand new soldering iron.

Now we are talking.

I refuse to factor in the cost of the iron into the cost of the repair – I’m bound to use it again aren’t I?

In no time at all I stood back and admired my work. I had the fans in place, the connections soldered and about four meters of insulating tape protecting the joints. I was ready.

The family held its breath. The boys stood motionless behind the chair based safety barrier. We waited.

Silently.

With a whisper.

The fans turned.

It was so quiet we didn’t even believe it at first – but it was there – a heartbeat! The cooler was alive!

And it still is going, and the wine is as mildly cool as it ever was.

I am a domestic hero.

With my success still fresh on everyone’s mind, I went on to use a hammer, a small roll of duct tape and a pint of WD40 to fix our ailing corner food cupboard contraption.

With the cupboard duely fixed, I then set about our bathroom sink’s leaking tap.

Ah yes, the bathroom tap…

That deserves its own post.

Where I excel at electrical work, it seems I somewhat falter at plumbing, and our fairly high pressure water system is being held together with superglue and yes, you guessed it, tape. What could possibly go wrong?