I’m starting to doubt it though.
I’ve organised a School reunion for early August which is set to be a fun night, and I’m quite looking forward to it. The problem is that I initially started to organise it last time I restarted at the gym, back in March. I figured that would give me time to reshape my darts player body into Diet Coke man’s body.
But my one visit to the gym didn’t quite manage to provide the desired effect.
And so the small group of ex-girlfriends who will be attending, will be high fiving themselves and whooping with delight at having got out when they did instead of ruing the day they let a catch like me slip through the net!
Damn Damn Damn.
These women were supposed to be having drunken arguments with each other about who had been my favourite, not making a pact to agree never ever to admit to even know me!
Ah well, never mind at least I can fall back on my hugely impressive and lucrative writing career to impress people with.
Damn Damn Damn.
Help me out here, do women still find it impressive if a man can drink a pint of beer in less than 10 seconds? Will my skills at doing The Robot still get me noticed? If I point out that I have 37 inches of pure Sony wizardry sat at home, will anyone gasp in awe? If I pop into Currys and take a photo of the screen in use, an I pass off a digital photo frame that I have as an i-pad do you think?
It has to be possible to find a way to have at least one of these girls not look too relieved at losing me – surely?
Any suggestions gratefully received because I’m starting to feel under real pressure.
6 comments:
That's funny! I'm having to get into shape for my WIFE'S reunion. That doubly stinks!
I got out of going to mine by being 41 weeks pregnant. Worked like a charm! NO ONE wanted me on a plane to California. But come to think of it, what an excellent excuse for being um... non-svelte.
I have a solution. On TV here they advertise this electronic gizmo. You strap it on for 10 minutes each day and after 10 days you have a six pack and a body to die for. It mist be true they show before and after shots (body not head). Or you can just say you are hung like a donkey - that works unless you get really drunk and strip.
I'd be impressed if you drank a pint of beer in less than 10 seconds. In fact, I'd probably challenge you to a drinking competition. At least you'd be so pissed you wouldn't care about the exes.
Your skills at doing The Robot will get you noticed. Aside from that, make sure the wife looks extra hot that night. That should take some of the heat off of you.
Que - you are allowed to your Wife's? OMG my wife pretended I'd died saving orphans in Bosnia when she went to hers!
KB - cheat!
Badger - that could just be the answer - I like it, except some of them have seen it and usually giggle when the remember it.
Barbara - I'm partial to a flaming sambuca too - see you at the bar
Marla - The Robot must work, Sadly Jo will be too busy doing some top level modeling work in St. Tropez that weekend (not that she needs to work after inheriting her father's billions) so she can't make it.
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