Yowzers, that was a busy week. I’m not kidding this last week has been hectic and I’ve been absolutely knackered, way too knackered to write anything much.
However you Internet users, especially those of you who like to make free phone calls across it, can relax. Single handed, I have fixed the Internet for you, even if you didn’t actually know it was broken. It is a thankless task working in Telecoms but as you sit back and chat to your friend in Woolamaloo tonight for free, just think of me.
You see what I did was this…..
OH NO – I NEARLY TALKED ABOUT MY JOB!
I almost broke my golden life rule and attempted to interest people in Telecoms. This is just not possible, I should know better. Three sentences into any explanation about my work and people get the Telecoms glaze in their eyes as their heads try desperately to keep one eye on me, so that they can give polite nods and say “Really” in appropriate places, while ensuring that in no way whatsoever any of the actual words can reach the brain. It’s a little known fact that if anyone who doesn’t work in Telecoms ever actually hears and tries to understand what we do; they instantly turn into gibbering wrecks.
Look at Kerry Katona. She was riding high in the charts in Atomic Kitten. Everything was in front of her and the world was very nearly at her feet. One day she was out meeting fans and bumped into a Telecoms Engineer. Politely she asked him about his work believing that keeping in touch with the little people was important for her image. Stupidly she listened. The biggest mistake in her career was to actually try and take an interest in the inner workings of a Nortel Telephone Exchange. Those ten minutes asking questions and making an effort to understand the ‘Supernode’ concept killed her talent forever.
Look at her before she did this.
Look at her now.
Engineering chat is dangerous – just say no.
It turns out that it’s not just Telecoms that can have this effect.
The other week I got chatting to a girl on the train who was very nice but there came a point in the conversation which came to jobs and we both faltered. Both us held back trying to dodge the question, desperately trying to get away without admitting what we do. In the end we both mumbled at once. She was a Chartered Accountant.
The relief on her face when she discovered that I was in no position to sneer was obvious. We made a pact for neither of us to attempt to discuss our jobs, and instead talk about life outside. This worked and neither of us melted with boredom (well I didn’t anyway, she might still have done – had she been in the aisle seat she might have got away sooner, suddenly feeling the need to stand in the buffet for the rest of the journey – I’ve seen this happen so many times).
It was so easy when I was in the Navy. You could spend an evening as the centre of attention talking about your life and people would come back for more – actually interested. All my actual job was that I was an electrician but that didn’t matter. Nobody noticed that in fact my job was pretty boring, because what was interesting was the life.
Now I actually enjoy doing my job, it is actually interesting to do, but it has never been and nor will it ever be, interesting to explain.
Never mind, you can relax and go back to enjoying the Internet, safe in the knowledge that you don’t have to try and understand it. Meanwhile I need to sit down and do some actual writing.
Coming up soon is a post about my boy’s dance show, bless him. Looks like he has been blessed with his Dad’s dancing ability.
However you Internet users, especially those of you who like to make free phone calls across it, can relax. Single handed, I have fixed the Internet for you, even if you didn’t actually know it was broken. It is a thankless task working in Telecoms but as you sit back and chat to your friend in Woolamaloo tonight for free, just think of me.
You see what I did was this…..
OH NO – I NEARLY TALKED ABOUT MY JOB!
I almost broke my golden life rule and attempted to interest people in Telecoms. This is just not possible, I should know better. Three sentences into any explanation about my work and people get the Telecoms glaze in their eyes as their heads try desperately to keep one eye on me, so that they can give polite nods and say “Really” in appropriate places, while ensuring that in no way whatsoever any of the actual words can reach the brain. It’s a little known fact that if anyone who doesn’t work in Telecoms ever actually hears and tries to understand what we do; they instantly turn into gibbering wrecks.
Look at Kerry Katona. She was riding high in the charts in Atomic Kitten. Everything was in front of her and the world was very nearly at her feet. One day she was out meeting fans and bumped into a Telecoms Engineer. Politely she asked him about his work believing that keeping in touch with the little people was important for her image. Stupidly she listened. The biggest mistake in her career was to actually try and take an interest in the inner workings of a Nortel Telephone Exchange. Those ten minutes asking questions and making an effort to understand the ‘Supernode’ concept killed her talent forever.
Look at her before she did this.
Look at her now.
Engineering chat is dangerous – just say no.
It turns out that it’s not just Telecoms that can have this effect.
The other week I got chatting to a girl on the train who was very nice but there came a point in the conversation which came to jobs and we both faltered. Both us held back trying to dodge the question, desperately trying to get away without admitting what we do. In the end we both mumbled at once. She was a Chartered Accountant.
The relief on her face when she discovered that I was in no position to sneer was obvious. We made a pact for neither of us to attempt to discuss our jobs, and instead talk about life outside. This worked and neither of us melted with boredom (well I didn’t anyway, she might still have done – had she been in the aisle seat she might have got away sooner, suddenly feeling the need to stand in the buffet for the rest of the journey – I’ve seen this happen so many times).
It was so easy when I was in the Navy. You could spend an evening as the centre of attention talking about your life and people would come back for more – actually interested. All my actual job was that I was an electrician but that didn’t matter. Nobody noticed that in fact my job was pretty boring, because what was interesting was the life.
Now I actually enjoy doing my job, it is actually interesting to do, but it has never been and nor will it ever be, interesting to explain.
Never mind, you can relax and go back to enjoying the Internet, safe in the knowledge that you don’t have to try and understand it. Meanwhile I need to sit down and do some actual writing.
Coming up soon is a post about my boy’s dance show, bless him. Looks like he has been blessed with his Dad’s dancing ability.
1 comments:
You're brave to even mention on your blog that you're in telecoms. People are probably unsubscribing in droves just in case you one day forget and start writing about it.
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