Summer is here, thank goodness. At last it’s starting to get warm.
Of course we go from cold to too hot in a single day according to the English (Barbara!) – We are truly never happy.
We spent the weekend in the garden doing weeding and strimming and cutting and raking and an endless list of jobs. I say we did this, but actually I did that while Jo flounced around with some cutters in her hand for 5 minutes, before declaring that it was too hot and pulling the sun lounger over to the shade for an emergency lie down.
The boys played (actually Jamie played – Daniel wasn’t very well, bless him, and spent most of the weekend laid out either asleep or being comforted by the TV babysitter. The paddling pool made its first appearance of the year as did 2010’s first water fight. It was in fact a very nice weekend (except for one of us being ill of course).
The English are never happy though and at work I must have heard 6 different people complaining about the heat. No one can sleep, it’s too hot. For some reason us Brits want to be unhappy. No Brit is happier than when they are complaining, no one knows why, we just are.
Today every one will be smiling from ear to ear as the rain is forecast to return. Now everyone can moan in ecstasy about “Is that Summer done then?” and “Bloody British Summers) having completely forgotten how seemingly unhappy they were with the sun when it was here.
THE WEEKEND WAS GORGEOUS!
Absolutely lovely.
I struggled to get to sleep when it was really hot as well, but come on!
It helps that I work in London and have to put up with the sight of 50 million scantily clad women suddenly appearing all over the place, it’s a chore but someone’s got to notice them. Think how unhappy they would be if they weren’t being appreciated by stumpy married Danny Devito lookalikes; I’m only trying to help. It isn’t even unfair either, there are approximately 100 good looking scantily clad men in London for them to look at. Sadly there a quite a few million men who think that they look ok in shorts and sandals with their shirt off too, even though their bodies haven’t seen the sun since 1976 and they haven’t seen their toes since 1984.
I was asked at work if I thought that we guys should be able to wear shorts and sandals to work in this heat. I simply said we should have a cardboard cut out of a predetermined body shape by the lifts. If you can walk through it without knocking it over you can wear shorts, otherwise you had to turn around and go get changed. The people at work do not need to see my legs and feet; some things are just not required. Besides, my sandals really smell bad.
As you can see, I have quite a poor self body image. I did consider joining in with the bloggers without make up meme, but for a laugh buying a really cheap and obvious toupee, and then very badly photo shopping the picture to make me look thinner. The idea of that made me laugh but of course I chickened out. The idea of putting a close up non vetted full on picture of me never ever entered my head. No way, you’d have to be really brave to do that.
Meanwhile I’m still dabbling with my attempts to get work as the Diet Coke man. Now and again I pop down to the 1st floor Coke machine and buy Diet Coke. When I come out of the lift into the office drinking it with muscles flexed, I scan round to see which women have noticed and got excited. So far none of them have raised so much as an eyebrow, even when I go over and pretend to fix the printer holding the can. I suppose it doesn’t help that in my other hand I usually have a burger.
Enjoy the sun folks – I’ve spent a lot of money on petrol to get you this warmth, you could at least try and appreciate it.
Of course we go from cold to too hot in a single day according to the English (Barbara!) – We are truly never happy.
We spent the weekend in the garden doing weeding and strimming and cutting and raking and an endless list of jobs. I say we did this, but actually I did that while Jo flounced around with some cutters in her hand for 5 minutes, before declaring that it was too hot and pulling the sun lounger over to the shade for an emergency lie down.
The boys played (actually Jamie played – Daniel wasn’t very well, bless him, and spent most of the weekend laid out either asleep or being comforted by the TV babysitter. The paddling pool made its first appearance of the year as did 2010’s first water fight. It was in fact a very nice weekend (except for one of us being ill of course).
The English are never happy though and at work I must have heard 6 different people complaining about the heat. No one can sleep, it’s too hot. For some reason us Brits want to be unhappy. No Brit is happier than when they are complaining, no one knows why, we just are.
Today every one will be smiling from ear to ear as the rain is forecast to return. Now everyone can moan in ecstasy about “Is that Summer done then?” and “Bloody British Summers) having completely forgotten how seemingly unhappy they were with the sun when it was here.
THE WEEKEND WAS GORGEOUS!
Absolutely lovely.
I struggled to get to sleep when it was really hot as well, but come on!
It helps that I work in London and have to put up with the sight of 50 million scantily clad women suddenly appearing all over the place, it’s a chore but someone’s got to notice them. Think how unhappy they would be if they weren’t being appreciated by stumpy married Danny Devito lookalikes; I’m only trying to help. It isn’t even unfair either, there are approximately 100 good looking scantily clad men in London for them to look at. Sadly there a quite a few million men who think that they look ok in shorts and sandals with their shirt off too, even though their bodies haven’t seen the sun since 1976 and they haven’t seen their toes since 1984.
I was asked at work if I thought that we guys should be able to wear shorts and sandals to work in this heat. I simply said we should have a cardboard cut out of a predetermined body shape by the lifts. If you can walk through it without knocking it over you can wear shorts, otherwise you had to turn around and go get changed. The people at work do not need to see my legs and feet; some things are just not required. Besides, my sandals really smell bad.
As you can see, I have quite a poor self body image. I did consider joining in with the bloggers without make up meme, but for a laugh buying a really cheap and obvious toupee, and then very badly photo shopping the picture to make me look thinner. The idea of that made me laugh but of course I chickened out. The idea of putting a close up non vetted full on picture of me never ever entered my head. No way, you’d have to be really brave to do that.
Meanwhile I’m still dabbling with my attempts to get work as the Diet Coke man. Now and again I pop down to the 1st floor Coke machine and buy Diet Coke. When I come out of the lift into the office drinking it with muscles flexed, I scan round to see which women have noticed and got excited. So far none of them have raised so much as an eyebrow, even when I go over and pretend to fix the printer holding the can. I suppose it doesn’t help that in my other hand I usually have a burger.
Enjoy the sun folks – I’ve spent a lot of money on petrol to get you this warmth, you could at least try and appreciate it.
2 comments:
HAAAAHHHHHHAAAAHHHHAHAAAAAHHHAA!!
I will return when I have words for this.
oh wait, no. I have words.
I love your idea about passing a 'test' to wear shorts. I think we could use this in America,especially when women are thinking of wearing bikini tops and cut off shorts (btw, this look can ONLY be pulled off by 16 - 23 year old girls),however the ACLU would be ALL Over that like white on rice. I wouldn't mind because I would NEVER EVEN THINK of putting the eyesight and constitution of the public at large under such a risk for permanent damage.
Love the photoshopping! Well done you. Except, I'm sorry, you can totally tell that's not your real watch. And where's Bryan Brown?
Post a Comment