I should tell you about next doors cat. I realise that it’s against the Commandments but I can’t help coveting my neighbour’s cat! They don’t have an ox so I think I’m safe from a direct lightning bolt, but none the less I’ve been taking no chances and have sewn a copper strip into my coat and trousers.
Unfortunately, my neighbours don’t have a donkey so I can’t do the gag about coveting my neighbour’s ass; this is a shame, because it’s a good gag.
Harry is a really cute moggy, and a proper cat’s cat. Harry is rock hard and completely fearless. Harry was born around the time (and thus was named after) the man who was living at the house I later bought, stopped living at the house I later bought, so to speak.
Sorry, I just heard thunder and had to go and hide for a moment there. Apparently Harry was a very nice man, so of course it’s sad that he died, but life goes on. Oh dear, I’m digging myself further in again.
Any way, this led to Harry’s name and sometimes you do have to wonder about things, because he loves our garden, and I only have to leave a door open for 5 minutes and he walks in. Cats are naturally nosey and so it’s nothing unusual for them to come and explore your unguarded house, but it’s the way he does it with such confidence that gets me.
Harry will come in, look up into your eyes when he sees that you have seen him, shrug and then carry on. The cheeky git just keeps on walking past you! If you shout at him a little firmer he sort of puts a paw up and nods, “okay, okay” at you; turns around and slowly walks out again. Shouldn’t he be at least a little scared?
Spend too long unloading the car outside and he is in the boot looking at you when you go to close it. Even when you threaten to carry on and close the door he just sort of sits there and smiles, “yeah, of course you are going to shut me in – I’m really scared; now why don’t you run along like a good boy and go look after the kids, I’ll be perfectly okay here”.
I was cleaning the car the other week and had all the doors open as he walked up to me and then jumped in. I calmly threw him out again so he gave me the “what did you do that for?” look, and then walked away. Well I say he walked away, what he actually did was walk around the other side of the car and jump in from that side instead. I threw him out again so I was given a “Look pal, you’re really starting to get on my tits” look, before he walked to the back of the car and jumped in the boot! I gave in and we both just ignored each other instead.
No bird is safe in the garden as Harry is an excellent hunter. My boys were amazed when they saw him playing with a bird, throwing it up and down, letting it crawl a few feet away before retrieving it, and then finally getting bored and eating it. Other cats in the area soon flee when they see him coming.
Harry is quality.
I’ve seen him sitting on our side of the fence, ducked down low whilst my neighbour shouts and calls him, in ever changing tones of voice, hoping to find the one that works. Harry will just sit there looking through the gap at her, staying hidden and undoubtedly laughing. The only thing that Harry can’t resist is his nemesis ‘the keys’, when they come out and start being rattled you can see his bravado crumble. Unable to resist the shiny, glinting metal singing such sweet tunes in his head, Harry will jump up and trot over to his owner and grudgingly walk in the house. Surely he must have learned by now that it’s a trick? He never gets to play with them.
Any way, I really love that cat. The very fact that he makes no effort whatsoever to even pretend that he likes you, and lets you know that the only reason he has come over for some fuss is because he is bored, really works for me. That evil streak of cattish indifference just makes me laugh.
Right, that said I’m off out now to see if I can use God’s name in vain somewhere, I might as well try for the full set of 10. I would have tried adultery but Jo is dead set against that, and I’m far more scared of my wife than I am of… Oh hang on I think that might count as one!
Where did that cloud come from? ...
Unfortunately, my neighbours don’t have a donkey so I can’t do the gag about coveting my neighbour’s ass; this is a shame, because it’s a good gag.
Harry is a really cute moggy, and a proper cat’s cat. Harry is rock hard and completely fearless. Harry was born around the time (and thus was named after) the man who was living at the house I later bought, stopped living at the house I later bought, so to speak.
Sorry, I just heard thunder and had to go and hide for a moment there. Apparently Harry was a very nice man, so of course it’s sad that he died, but life goes on. Oh dear, I’m digging myself further in again.
Any way, this led to Harry’s name and sometimes you do have to wonder about things, because he loves our garden, and I only have to leave a door open for 5 minutes and he walks in. Cats are naturally nosey and so it’s nothing unusual for them to come and explore your unguarded house, but it’s the way he does it with such confidence that gets me.
Harry will come in, look up into your eyes when he sees that you have seen him, shrug and then carry on. The cheeky git just keeps on walking past you! If you shout at him a little firmer he sort of puts a paw up and nods, “okay, okay” at you; turns around and slowly walks out again. Shouldn’t he be at least a little scared?
Spend too long unloading the car outside and he is in the boot looking at you when you go to close it. Even when you threaten to carry on and close the door he just sort of sits there and smiles, “yeah, of course you are going to shut me in – I’m really scared; now why don’t you run along like a good boy and go look after the kids, I’ll be perfectly okay here”.
I was cleaning the car the other week and had all the doors open as he walked up to me and then jumped in. I calmly threw him out again so he gave me the “what did you do that for?” look, and then walked away. Well I say he walked away, what he actually did was walk around the other side of the car and jump in from that side instead. I threw him out again so I was given a “Look pal, you’re really starting to get on my tits” look, before he walked to the back of the car and jumped in the boot! I gave in and we both just ignored each other instead.
No bird is safe in the garden as Harry is an excellent hunter. My boys were amazed when they saw him playing with a bird, throwing it up and down, letting it crawl a few feet away before retrieving it, and then finally getting bored and eating it. Other cats in the area soon flee when they see him coming.
Harry is quality.
I’ve seen him sitting on our side of the fence, ducked down low whilst my neighbour shouts and calls him, in ever changing tones of voice, hoping to find the one that works. Harry will just sit there looking through the gap at her, staying hidden and undoubtedly laughing. The only thing that Harry can’t resist is his nemesis ‘the keys’, when they come out and start being rattled you can see his bravado crumble. Unable to resist the shiny, glinting metal singing such sweet tunes in his head, Harry will jump up and trot over to his owner and grudgingly walk in the house. Surely he must have learned by now that it’s a trick? He never gets to play with them.
Any way, I really love that cat. The very fact that he makes no effort whatsoever to even pretend that he likes you, and lets you know that the only reason he has come over for some fuss is because he is bored, really works for me. That evil streak of cattish indifference just makes me laugh.
Right, that said I’m off out now to see if I can use God’s name in vain somewhere, I might as well try for the full set of 10. I would have tried adultery but Jo is dead set against that, and I’m far more scared of my wife than I am of… Oh hang on I think that might count as one!
Where did that cloud come from? ...
4 comments:
I love cats...I miss having one. I did once attempt to steal my neighbours cats because I felt she wasn't taking care of them, as they were left outside in all weather conditions. My plan was spoiled however, when I got caught trying to lure them with cat food by one of my neighbours friends. That was an awkward moment.
Harry's whiskers look extraordinary in the first photo.
I like the sound of Harry. He sounds like a real cat's cat. I can't bear these fussy, yowly, look at me cats.
Jenny, I miss my old cat too, but the boys were way to rough for her and I lost the vote so the cat went to stay at my Mum's house instead of them.
Yep, he is a cat that thinks he should be in Africa somewhere grazing on Gazelles rather than having a small bowl of Whiskas.
We are owned by four fat lazy felines!
A couple of years ago a neighbours cat called Salem (very appropriate) decided to move in with us (and the above mentioned four fat lazy felines).
He put our lot in their place from day one. Not one of our lazy articles raised a paw in opposition even when Salem came in and scoffed all their food and slept in their beds!
He even took to sleeping in our bed.... One morning a woke up and looked to see if my Mrs was awake and instead saw Salem with his head on the pillow next to me :-)
Alas Salem's owners decided to move house and we no longer see him. My wife and I often wonder if he's found someone to adopt near his new home!
Glen
Post a Comment