Coughs and colds

At three O’clock the other morning I woke with a start. I was facing one of those surreal parenting moments that leave you trying to work out whether you love your children more than ever, or if frankly you wouldn’t mind a week off!

It was Monday night and whilst skipping and hopping his way home from school my five year old was also coughing occasionally. His cough got a little worse as the evening wore on but nothing specific. Of course as 5 year olds still have very little skill at blowing their nose (well mine doesn’t) by the time he had been laid out in bed for a while the coughing had intensified into nearly a full blown case of Man Flu.

Not long after Jo and I had gone to bed he awoke and so dragged myself out of bed and administered some paracetamol and Vicks and made an attempt to extract some phlegm using the tightly coiled tissue up the nostril method, as first demonstrated on Sir Isaac Newton’s blog “Gravity Matters” I believe. Whilst holding Jamie down in a Half Nelson and trying to force a pointed bit of toilet roll up his nose, I reminded him over and over that this was for his own good! Eventually I managed to fill up the bath with snot and decided to put that fact into my blind spot, hoping that Jo would unblock the plug in the morning when she had her shower.

Thus, emptied and dosed up with medicine, I sent Jamie back off to bed, patting myself on the back for my Fathering prowess.

Later I completely slept through and missed the following, but here is what happened.

Sometime around 2 O’clock, Jo awoke to the sounds of her baby crying. When she went into him he was really upset and said that he was really sad. Jo’s maternal instincts kicked in and mixed with her many years training and experience as a teacher, so she pressed him for more information.

Jamie was sad because no one likes him, and this made him feel lonely. Jo instantly recognised the signs of a disturbed child disclosing a problem and so she knew exactly how to go forward with this. Worrying that all was not as well as we thought at his school, Jo asked him to say why he thought no one liked him. “No one is talking to me, I feel really lonely!” Jamie sobbed as he spoke and broke his Mother’s heart. Jo started working out how to get this problem sorted, what conversations she would need to have with his teacher and what plans could be put in place to resolve the problem.

Eventually Jo asked, “Has this just started happening today, or is it everyday at school that no one talks to you?”

Jamie stopped sobbing for a moment and looked at Jo as if she had just asked him if Barak Obama was coming for tea, “Not at School! – Here, now! Nobody was talking to me!”

Jo stalled for a moment before recovering with, “of course no one was talking to you, it’s the middle of the night and we were all asleep!”

It still took a while to console Jamie, he had to get his head around the fact that the reason no one was answering his questions was because they weren’t awake. Slowly he drifted back off to sleep and Jo returned to bed giggling.

This brings me back to the start, because at 3 O’clock I awoke, suddenly aware that I was not alone. There was a little face planted right up to my own, little hands cuddling my shoulders. This gave me a lovely few seconds as I remembered how lucky I am to have this, and revel in the feeling of utter love and trust.

As the seconds ticked by though, my brain started to catch up and overtake my heart. My eyes were jumping up and down trying to get attention because they could see the clock. Three parps on a fog horn later, my brain woke up and read the message from the eyes about the time, and the bubble was burst. I was just about to mention the time to Jamie and point out that I had to get up for work in 4 hours time, when he did what only a child can do.

He coughed.

In my face.

Right up close into my face, the little git.

Jamie didn’t bother with hands covering or turning away, just blatantly breeched all coughing etiquette protocols. I was silenced of course, it’s horrible when your kids are ill, you just want to cuddle them and make it all better. When a five year old is snuggled right up to your face coughing at you, there is just not much you can do but wait it out.

So we laid there, both of us dropping in and out of sleep every few minutes for the rest of the night. I acted as a human shield to keep the coughing away from Jo (this wasn’t me being noble, I had no choice. It would have been more appropriate to say Jo used me as a shield).

In the morning Jamie seemed fine but was still coughing. I could see that though he was awake enough at that time, there would be no way he would last a full day at school. Luckily I was able to work at home and so I did so, and Jamie stayed home with me, sleeping after lunch.

By the time it was bed time Jamie was much better and, after topping him up with Calpol, Vicks and Olbas Oil, we tucked him into bed. Happily, Jamie slept all night and was absolutely fine in the morning.

Mind you, I’m feeling a little rough…