remaining cool in a crisis

Just a quick one tonight to tell you about something I just witnessed at Paddington Station. I still keep giggling.

Now I know that technically laughing at other peoples misfortune is a bad thing, after all one day it will be you that others are laughing at but sometimes it’s just too funny to ignore. Besides I’m such a useless idiot most of the time that there are plenty of opportunity for people to return the favour.

Walking along towards the gates I noticed a man walking along clearly with his head in the clouds on a direct course for danger. The classic distracted man walking towards the lamp post as done so memorably by Rowan Atkinson all those years ago.

In an instant I could see his future much more clearly than he could. Walking along trying to read the departures board he was heading straight towards the barrier put in to separate the traffic and it was going to hurt. He was tall and the barrier was at the perfect height.

Both the girl to my left and I winced in pain as he slammed his groin into the post. There was no doubt whatsoever that it had hit bang on target and that he was going to be nursing a bruise in an awkward spot tonight. What made me laugh wasn’t the crash though, it was his absolute determination to keep cool.

Now I’m well regarded as being one of the least cool men on the planet. I have no fashion sense whatsoever and I’m always a mile behind everyone else learning the latest buzz words or bands. I’ve said before that I’m as cool as Screech and I stand by the statement. If it had been me that had done it I would have squealed like a 6 year old girl and rolled about on the floor asking for an ambulance. However this guy was not me.

You could see that this was a cool man, his clothes looked great and he was clearly a decent looking feller. His stance and bearing shouted out that this man is used to being the centre of attention from the ladies. And so his reaction was different and this is what really made me giggle. Also the girl to my left should take some blame because where I had been desperately holding it in, she made no effort. As soon as the girl started to loudly stifle a giggle, I was gone.

My man coolly stared at the post for a second as if to dare it to try attacking him again and then nonchalantly moved on without any recognition to what had happened whatsoever. Or at least that’s what he thought he was doing. What he actually did was to stand and stare at the post in a crooked pose that made me think he had just sent a stone down an ice curling lane. Then he strolled on with his legs wide apart and wobbling like a jelly. His shoulders shrugged and his face defiantly dared anyone to suggest he had actually hurt himself, but his twisted trousers told another tale. When he tried to adjust his pants whilst pretending to adjust his iPod I was in tears.

My female friend ran off crying and I sped off too because at the end of the day he was a big feller having a bad day and I’m not completely stupid.

It is little moments like that that make all the rubbish that life throws at you worthwhile because it removes the paranoia. It’s not just me these things happen to after all.