It has just dawned on me that I’m going to have to take the bull by the horns and take responsibility for passing on some news.
I spent a while earlier searching the Internet for some information (responsibly during my lunch break of course!) and no matter how I tried I couldn’t find what I was looking for.
This surprised me a little as my understanding of this medium is that it has absolutely every single snippet of information available. Surely every fact in the world is written somewhere on the Internet? For every fact written on the Net then surely there are 6 lies attributed to the same piece of information too?
How come then that when I search for a specific bit of news I can find not one single trace about it? Is it a conspiracy? I think it must be something very deep and embarrassing to the government if there’s not even one person been allowed to moan about it on Twitter!
This morning I was on the way into work and discovered the road was blocked by police. They had cordoned off a small section of road which then meant I had to go round the long way. I managed to get myself round the extra 100 yards that this longer route required with no major incidents you’ll be happy to learn. Everyone in work had different theories as to what had happened however the strongest turned out to be a shooting.
Now I’m certainly not going to make a joke out of things if indeed it was a shooting so don’t be waiting for it. The misery and potential harm that could have been caused by something like that is never funny. However the point that I’m heading to is that this theory is based entirely on good old fashioned rumour mill activity. The technological age has not so far been involved at all. Apparently someone passing the office had heard from one of the street cleaners that this shooting was indeed the cause of the Tabernacle Street roadblock.
How can you argue with facts like that? A passing stranger had heard it off a cleaner – that kind of information source is what Wikipedia is based on! I found it quite refreshing to hear news in this manner again after worrying that this kind of knowledge transfer was dead. In order to validate this ancient news system I did feel that I ought to make an effort though.
I searched and searched all over the place. In Google and Yahoo I failed to find anything useful with Tabernacle Street, Worship Street or any combination of words in the search box. Shootings, roadblocks or police thrown in the mix made no difference. The news websites (national & local) had nothing at all. I asked Jeeves but he had not the slightest clue. Every one is clammed up tighter than – well a clam.
And so here I am being the bearer of news to the world. It has fallen to me to inform everyone of what went on in Tabernacle Street London today. If you note that this blog suddenly stops being written (unlikely as it’s only me that reads it) then you will know that I have been shut down by some very dark forces indeed, most probably by Gordon Brown himself.
I can exclusively reveal that Erin on Reception heard from one of the salesmen that they had been stood out having a cigarette when a passing business man told him that a cleaner had said that there had been a shooting. For this reason Tabernacle and Worship Streets were all closed for a while. If you can find a more accurate and thoroughly researched fact anywhere on the Internet about any other subject then I’m an idiot!