Christmas checklist

Just a couple of days now and it’s Christmas. The pressure is starting to mount up now and I’m beginning to sweat. There are so many things to remember, so many different points to cover. When did Christmas become so stressful?

We need a fully qualified project manager to come in and take over the work in our house, because I’m not sure we are ready.

First you have the presents. So many different people to remember and that’s just the start. First of all you have to remember them. Clearly you easily recall your family and tick them off the list but then with each passing day the list grows a bit. The two boys teachers deserve something, as does their childminder. Then suddenly on the last day you remember the ladies in Breakfast club, can’t leave those off the list else the boys could be getting the dropped bits of toast for the next year.

Just as I start to relax Jo remembers that she has a whole load of helpers at her School who thoroughly deserve something. And suddenly there is a panic. Let’s go through the list again, what have we missed? Oh no the old friend from college has posted something for the boys – why does she still do that? We thought we had stopped it. How many kids does she have? Are they girls and how old?

As each day goes back a new name pops up that had been entirely forgotten until now. Add to that the extra pressure of trying to match a present to the name. Have we pitched it right this year? Will they actually like what we’ve got them or will the couple be catching each others eyes and making that secret face that tells each other that yet again they have got us something good and wasted good money because of the rubbish they have received in return. Are the boys sorted fairly? Are the piles similar in size? What about Jo – will she like her present? Will it fit or is it going to be sloped off to the charity shop again.

Then you get to the food, suddenly we need to do a Christmas shop. Even though this is only needed to cover three Earth days it suddenly becomes the most stressful grocery shop since time began. We find ourselves buying eight times more stuff than we would normally manage on for a whole week. Then one of us will pop back and pick up some bits that we forgot. This year we had one load delivered on the 18th and are heading out again this morning to buy some fresh stuff. How on Earth will we get through the one day when the shops will be shut I have no idea, not that they will actually be shut either there is always a garage or something open. Suddenly we are buying things that we already have ‘just in case’ it mysteriously runs out on the day. We are therefore loaded up with enough kitchen foil to wrap an elephant, enough paper towels to mop up the Dead Sea and the whole of the British Army could queue up and merrily use our toilet without fear of running short on toilet paper.

We have about three weeks worth of soft drinks and alcohol stashed ready and Jacobs appear to have started using our garage as a cracker storage silo. Even with all that said I’m still panicking! What have I missed? What do I need? We only have two boxes of chocolates left – will that be enough?

Is the house clean enough will be the next thing. Have we got everything squared away and clean before the guests start arriving? Is the iPod updated with a Christmas selection of music?

I’m not even going to start thinking about preparing the actual meal either – I may explode before then. Wrapping presents is to come today as well as the shop. Oh no the lady across the road has dropped a present in for the kids – quick, grab a spare bottle of wine and hand it over to her, we will have to replace it though as we only have six bottles left now.

Christmas Cards?

CARDS!

Oh no – it’s the 23rd of December and we have forgotten to send the cards! Not again, how did that happen? Will 2nd Class stamps get them there in one day? What do we do send them any way and just feign utter surprise in their tardiness, clearly the Post Office is to blame. Or save the stamps for next year and just send emails and E-Cards?

I’d better go now – I need to go and tell my Wife that we have not sent any cards yet, and she is not going to be happy!


UPDATE:-

It turns out that we have sent cards after all, ages ago. I knew I got married for a reason!

Happy Christmas.