What is it about Claudia Winkleman that I like so much? I can’t work it out at all. In so many respects she is not my type as she is too skinny, manic, and overly reliant on make up and spray tans. None the less I melt a little whenever she is on the telly because she is just beautiful!
Why do we do this for celebrities? What is it about fame that turns someone you can’t explain fancying into a crush? I don’t know the answer by the way I’m just stating a fact. It’s not just Claudia though, how about Stacey from Gavin and Stacey? Yes please is the answer, though I suppose she would expect me to do the courtesy of at least Googling her real name, but what would be the point of that? I’d still want to call her Stacey anyway. For that matter here’s a better example, Ruth Jones who plays Nessa, in her case I’d happily call her Ruth but again what on Earth do I fancy about her? I can’t explain it but she is still very attractive when you see her as herself being interviewed.
Don’t be getting all uppity with me either, we all do it. My Wife fancies Phil from Location, Location, Location and Kevin McCloud from Grand designs.
I’m not talking about the straight forward obvious choices that we all like such as Kylie, Mylene Klass, all but one of Girls Aloud, George Clooney, David Beckham etc. I’m talking about the ones that you can’t defend such as that last one from Girls Aloud, Jane McDonald, Zoe Ball, Jason Mandford and Mr. Tumble. I do worry a little about my Wife’s choices sometimes.
It keeps you happy living in a little dream world I think. I’m heading towards a conclusion here. We happily fantasize about getting one of the really gorgeous A list celebrities like Beyoncé Knowles but know full well that we would stand a better chance with the horse faced C list ones such as Leona Lewis! Therefore the fantasy has a little more edge and excitement if you feel that it could actually come true! It’s the whole Playboy or Razzle debate all over again. Does a fantasy have more zing if there’s a degree of truth and possibility in it? I think it might!
We did once try making up one of those “Allowed” lists where you write down 10 Celebrities and then should the opportunity ever come up to spend the night with them you can do it with no marital risk or issue. It all went wrong though because the last 7 women on my list were Didcot girls who have quite well known reputations. I felt that because I’d seen their names written in toilets and in the telephone box they were bona fide celebrities but Jo did not agree and negotiations stalled. I also took umbrage at Jo’s attempt to add an ex boyfriend to her list because his Brother knows someone that appeared on Blue Peter in 1983.
Eventually talks were abandoned and the whole idea was scrapped so now if I accidentally pull Charlotte Church I could be putting my marriage at risk!
Anyway I’m going to get back to doing what I was doing before I started writing this, which was wondering what would happen if I bumped into Claudia at the buffet. Would we share a laugh about getting our free Bacon butties? Would we compare how many vouchers we have left to use and then just flow straight into a long and interesting chat about how rubbish Strictly is? I reckon I’d be on a winner there!
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