Telephone call synchronisation

The battle of the phones has just begun. Since getting on the train this morning I’ve been honoured with being allowed to listen in to one half of the dullest telephone calls ever. I can’t even write about what he is talking about – it’s that dull. What he lacks in content however, my man has decided to make up with longevity and volume.

Mr. Mobile is sat a couple of seats away but is easily managing to impress me with his impressive use of a wonderful piece of modern technology. His clever understanding of the millions of hours of work and investment that has been carried out, in order to carry his voice across the world is putting the whole carriage in awe. The little microphone hidden within that amazing gadget in his hand will amplify his voice, and convert it into a special magic wobbly signal that will fly through the ether on his behalf. There is no need to shout!

The question is – what is going to happen next? We have just stopped and one of those beautiful moments in life has just occurred.

From the moment she stepped into the carriage we knew she was on the phone. The whole carriage tuned into her conversation about last night’s disastrous meal. We sat in wonder at her shiny phone as it flashed past and then I for one smiled like a 10 year old in Hamleys as she chose the empty seat next to Mr. Mobile.

I am now watching an interesting phenomenon known as sub-conscious telephone call synchronisation. Are they actually talking to each other? They could be because they have somehow settled into a rhythm that appears to suggest they are. Mr. Mobile shouts out that he has to finish his report on the apparent improvement in shine quality that can, in 67.3% of all left handed shoe wearers, be noted on the right hand shoe. Almost as soon as he stops talking Miss. Nokia rallies by saying that She’s surprised to hear about that and wonders where to buy them. What is she trying to buy – left handed shoes that automatically adjust to compensate for poor polish application?

Time and time again their conversation seems to not only match in timing but also in topic.

“He couldn’t have found it with a guide book, torch and a Sat Nav!”

“Yes it is true that 88.54% of male albinos are incapable of reproduction…”

I wonder if they are married to each other and this is the only way that they can communicate. Perhaps this is a new thing that I can try with my own wife? If Jo starts dishing out a constant stream of female trivia; or if the list of jobs that I’ve either still got left to do or have done wrong starts to drag on I can just claim that my credit is running low and stop the call. I can then sit at home with the phone switched off in peace. I like this idea and can see no possible flaws whatsoever!

Ah nice one – Mr. & Mrs. Mobile have finished their calls and are now sat scowling and facing away from each other. In my opinion that has entirely confirmed my suspicion as they now even look married!