Phobias

Writing about my mild Claustrophobia got me thinking about all the different phobias that there are in the world. It’s crazy to think of all the different things that people are scared of and how specific they are. I had to do some research in order to find out what a fear of crowds is (Enochlophobia) and that led me to learn about some classics.

The first odd phobia that I noted is Macrophobia but I’m not going to say what that is right now – I’ll come back to it.

The phobia that most stuck out as being the most specific bizzarr and wonderful fear that man can possibly have is Arachibutyrophobia which is the fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth. What world do you have to be living in where this is a real thing? Surely this is just something that you don’t much like not an actual syndrome? It must also be one of the easiest phobias to put up with and cure. It’s not as if every September we get herds of Peanut butter jars coming out from behind the bead head whilst you are asleep and climbing in your mouth. “No thanks love can I have cheese spread in my sandwhich instead?” is surely enough to pass a dangerous moment into safety. I personally don’t like raisins but love coronation chicken. As you can imagine this presents me with a bit of an enigma. That feeling when I realise I’m chewing a raisin leaves me quite disgusted. Do I have raisinsareranknophobia or do I simply dislike raisins?

I imagine the best thing about having Amnesiphobia is that if you are ever unlucky enough to get amnesia you will forget that you are scared of it and be instantly cured.

How on Earth can anyone possibly be Consecotaleophobic? How could the chopstick present such a danger to anyone? I may have to go into phsycotherapy, I think I’d be good at it. “Scared of what? Chopsticks? Don’t be so ridiculous, just use a knife and fork and you’ll be right as rain in a week – pay the lady on your way out!”

Like all men I do suffer with acute Menophobia. Menstruation is just not right, there is nothing even remotely OK about the whole process and it should be banned in my opinion. There is nothing fills any man with dread more than the sight of his beloved suddenly taking her handbag to the toilet with her. We know that when she comes back we will have done something wrong but don’t know what it will be yet and the anticipation fills us with horror.

Actually there is perhaps one thing worse than Menophobia. I myself am very definitely Pentheraphobic. I doubt that I am on my own in this but fear of mother-in-laws has to be a very real problem for the vast majority of married men. Having one turn up unexpected, when you haven’t had time to go through the full checklist of house chores that she will be coming to inspect; causes immediate panic. Will she notice that you have only hoovered downstairs?

I guess the most nervous people on the planet have to be the Phobophobics. How could you survive being scared of phobias? You haven’t even been able to think of anything to be scared of so you just go right ahead and be scared of being scared of things instead. How do you cope? Aren’t these people just a bit needy? Or maybe lazy as they can get out of doing anything at all by announcing that they are scared of being scared of it. This means that if people show them a spider they don’t have to do all the screaming and shouting. It’s far too much effort for the Phobophobics to do all that running about just because a spider sidles past, much better to just get someone to get rid of it by saying that you are scared of being aracnophobic.

Any way that’s about it for now – I’m sure I’ve missed some funnier ones but I’ve got a little Ergophobia and am therefore scared of work so I can’t be bothered to research any more phobias. I’ll leave you by saying that if you have been sweating and hating every minute of reading this post then you are either a Macrophobic and therefore afraid of long waits or just a pantsblogrophobe; who knows?

I did my reserch at www.phobialist.com