Retail Services Manager

I’ve just discovered that my train’s ‘Retail Services Manager’ is about to come through the train with a trolley. Apparently she has a good selection of hot and cold drinks as well as fruit, crisps and sandwiches.

I love these job names that people get to create an image of something that isn’t even close to being real. Retail Services Manager! What on Earth is that supposed to mean. She’s bringing a trolley round on a train. I’d suggest she tries something more realistic like Chariot Roaming Apple Provider. Where do people come up with these daft job names, I just spent 10 minutes working out one just so that I could call it C.R.A.P. and I have to say it is pretty weak, very fitting for its name. There must be teams of very well paid people coming up with the real ones. Congratulations to the PR people that do this work because I don’t think it’s easy.

Sorry had a gap there while the Advanced Rail Supervising Emperor came through checking tickets. He is one of those that think a chirpy smile and witty banter will cheer up all the weary commuters. This is a nice thing I don’t dislike it, but there are those who can actually do it and those who say “Any one boarding at the Den of Iniquity that is Banbury show me your tickets please, come on don’t be shy!” And they say it twice in our carriage alone because no one laughed the first time, I assume he’s gone on to try it in all the rest of the carriages now.

Ok that’s all I can really say on this one because it’s early and I’ve run out of time after spending 15 minutes working on A.R.S.E. Can any one tell me any better job titles, real or made up that either don’t come close to describing the job or just have a funny mnemonic.