I’ve just discovered that it’s impossible to write anything when Bertie Bassett is in the house. That little rascal has a lot to answer for.
I foolishly opened the packet while my laptop kicked into life. I thought that I could sit here and write something deep about the state of the world whilst occasionally dipping into the Mr. Bassett’s liquorice heaven. No doubt I’d munch my way through 4 or 5 sweets before diligently wrapping the bag back up and saving them for another day or for the rest of the family. No doubt I’d have written 3 or 4 pages of meaningful text that would grip the hearts of the millions of potential readers so tightly that Mr. Potter’s wizardly exploits would be forgotten about completely.
Sadly it does not appear to have gone that way. Every time my typing finger made it’s solitary way towards the keyboard it veered off towards the pack instead. Time and time I’ve intended to write the starting line of an epic novel, probably something like, “The Marine looked on through tearful blood filled eyes at the incredulous devastation about him; his head still pounding the drumbeat of a million lost hearts. The fierce sun burning his skin helped to cover the emotions that being here on Christmas Day would otherwise bring. As this shaken hero stared he began to wonder if suggesting a game of murder ball during the truce had really been such a good idea...”
Instead of writing my way into WH Smiths I’ve sat here and eaten the whole packet. I never even found a Bertie! And now the sugar has completely stunted my creativity. Instead of changing the world I’ve just stopped Portsmouth, Cosham & Oldbury from ever looking in again due to Liquorice envy!
Never mind, I’ll start again in a few minutes and everything will be fine… Is that a pack of Revels I see on the Retail Services Manager’s trolley?
I foolishly opened the packet while my laptop kicked into life. I thought that I could sit here and write something deep about the state of the world whilst occasionally dipping into the Mr. Bassett’s liquorice heaven. No doubt I’d munch my way through 4 or 5 sweets before diligently wrapping the bag back up and saving them for another day or for the rest of the family. No doubt I’d have written 3 or 4 pages of meaningful text that would grip the hearts of the millions of potential readers so tightly that Mr. Potter’s wizardly exploits would be forgotten about completely.
Sadly it does not appear to have gone that way. Every time my typing finger made it’s solitary way towards the keyboard it veered off towards the pack instead. Time and time I’ve intended to write the starting line of an epic novel, probably something like, “The Marine looked on through tearful blood filled eyes at the incredulous devastation about him; his head still pounding the drumbeat of a million lost hearts. The fierce sun burning his skin helped to cover the emotions that being here on Christmas Day would otherwise bring. As this shaken hero stared he began to wonder if suggesting a game of murder ball during the truce had really been such a good idea...”
Instead of writing my way into WH Smiths I’ve sat here and eaten the whole packet. I never even found a Bertie! And now the sugar has completely stunted my creativity. Instead of changing the world I’ve just stopped Portsmouth, Cosham & Oldbury from ever looking in again due to Liquorice envy!
Never mind, I’ll start again in a few minutes and everything will be fine… Is that a pack of Revels I see on the Retail Services Manager’s trolley?
1 comments:
Hilarious!
I know exactly what it feels like to sit down with the goal of writing and get distracted.
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