Friday, June 19, 2009

what wives say and what their husbands hear

What wives say:

I need some new shoes

What husbands hear:

Clear your diary, the next few days are going to be both hectic and expensive!

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What wives say:

Can you put the rubbish out please?

What husbands hear:

The rubbish needs to go out, the garden needs mowing, there’s mess all over the place, tidy yourself up a bit, when are you going to fix that cupboard, are you listening? I said the rubbish…..

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What wives say:

Don’t drink too much at the pub tonight

What husbands hear:

There’s a new ‘Mega Strength’ lager you should try, I bet you can’t drink 5 pints!

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What wives say:

I said “NO”!

What husbands hear:

Ask me again in 20 seconds as I haven’t decided yet!

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What wives say:

Fancy an early night…?

What husbands hear:

I need some new shoes

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What wives say:

Let me know what you are doing tonight – if you go to the pub let me know you will be late please.

What husbands hear:

Go to the pub. At midnight, as you are waiting for your kebab, give me a call and tell me you love me 6 times.

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What wives say:

What colour would YOU like to paint the kitchen?

What husbands hear:

Were you listening when I told you what colour we are having?

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What wives say:

Can you make tea tonight please?

What husbands hear:

Fetch the Chinese menu

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What wives say:

Wasn’t Barry funny tonight?

What husbands hear:

Barry is everything I’ve ever wanted in a man; unlike you.

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What wives say:

You were really funny tonight!

What husbands hear:

I need some new shoes.

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